It Had To Be You
by autumnrose2010
Summary: What if Anastasia's parents, Nicholas and Alexandra, had gotten married in 1889 instead of 1894? This is a series of one-shots about what their lives might have been like if that had been the case. WIP
1. Wedding

Seventeen-year-old Alix of Hesse looked at the face of her beloved, Tsarevich Nicholas, for the first time that day, and saw it light up with joy. She was standing at the back of the cathedral preparing to walk down the aisle to stand beside Nicholas. She wore a white, lacy dress with a veil and a long train. Nicholas was tall and handsome in his dark suit, his dark brown hair neatly combed and his blue eyes dancing with excitement.

As the organist began to play, Alix slowly began to walk down the aisle, every step bringing her closer to Nicholas. As she got closer and closer to his face, which was shining with love for her, she felt her heart pound with excitement.

**It had to be you, it had to be you  
I've wondered around, finally found somebody who  
Could make me be true  
Could make me be blue  
And even be glad just to be sad thinking of you**

They'd first met five years previously, when he'd been sixteen and she'd been twelve, at the wedding of a mutual cousin. Alix had thought that Nicholas was the best looking boy she'd ever seen, and he'd been enchanted by her beauty. He'd been so sweet, and also quite shy. He'd smiled at her, and she'd smiled back.

"My name is Alix," she'd told him.

"I'm Nicholas," he'd replied. "But most people call me Nicky."

Although they'd only had a few minutes to talk, they'd quickly forged a special bond, and wrote to one another regularly after they'd gone back home. Although they'd only met once, over time, Alix had come to feel closer and closer to Nicky.

**Some others I've seen  
Might never be mean  
Might never be cross  
Or try to be boss  
But they wouldn't do**

At first there had been an obstacle over the difference in religion, but in the end Alix wanted so badly to be with Nicky that she agreed to convert from Lutheranism to the Russian Orthodox faith. Nicky's parents had wanted him to marry a woman of higher status, the daughter of a monarch, but Nicky had been resolute in his determination to marry the woman he loved.

At last Alix was standing at Nicky's side, her gloved hand tucked beneath his arm. Waves of excitement flowed through her at the warmth of his touch. At the end of the ceremony, Nicky lifted her veil and kissed her lips for the first time, his kiss sending tingles down Alix's spine, the promise of passion so long delayed at last to soon be fulfilled.

**For nobody else gave me a thrill  
With all your faults, I love you still  
It had to be you, wonderful you  
It had to be you**

They'd both waited for this day for ever so long. Nicky had dreamed of holding Alix in his arms countless times. He'd never so much as given a second thought to wanting to be with any other woman but her, and knew that she felt the same way about him. Their love for one another was pure and innocent, and they were both filled with hope as they looked forward to beginning their new life together.


	2. Miracle Birth

**November 15, 1895**

Nicholas paced the floor outside his wife's chambers in the Alexander Palace. Alexandra had gone into labor hours before, and so far there hadn't been any news about her welfare, and like any new father, Nicholas felt both excited and anxious.

It had taken Alexandra more than five years to get pregnant. Over that period of time, many prayers had been sent up to God, seemingly to no avail. After the first couple of years of infertility, Nicholas' family had begun to pressure him to divorce Alexandra and remarry, but he'd refused to even listen to them. Alexandra was the only woman he loved, the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. If it was God's will that they remain childless, then so be it. Nicholas' throne would pass to his younger brother Michael and Michael's descendants upon his death.

Nicholas would never forget the day in March when Alexandra had come to him with shining eyes and told him that she was pregnant. They'd both sent fervent thanks up to God and settled in for the long wait.

The night Alexandra had felt the baby move for the first time had been so very special for them both. They'd been lying in bed talking when Alexandra had taken Nicholas' hand and placed it on her swollen belly. What he'd felt had been only a tiny flutter, but he'd been filled with awe and wonder at the evidence of the new life deep within his wife's body.

Suddenly Nicholas heard, very faintly, the wailing of an infant from inside his wife's chambers, and his heart began to pound with excitement. A moment later, the door opened, and the doctor appeared.

"Congratulations, Your Majesty! You have a new daughter!" he announced.

"How's Sunny?" asked Nicholas.

"The Tsarina is fine," the doctor assured him.

"Can I see her now?"

The doctor stepped aside, and Nicholas entered the room, where he saw Alexandra sitting up in bed, looking tired and pale but happy. In her arms was a tiny bundle wrapped in a blanket.

"She's beautiful," Alexandra told her husband. "She looks just like you."

Nicholas folded the blanket back and looked into the tiny, red, wrinkled face. The newborn did indeed bear an astonishing resemblance to her father. Nicholas felt an overwhelming love for the tiny creature, one such as he'd never felt before for anyone.

"I hope you're not terribly disappointed," Alexandra said apologetically.

"I'm not disappointed at all," her husband told her. "A son would have belonged to Russia. A daughter shall belong to us."

"I love you, Nicky." Alexandra smiled gratefully.

"I love you too, Sunny."

"What shall we call her?"

Nicholas thought for a minute. "Olga, for my baby sister," he finally said.

"That's a lovely name," Alexandra replied. "And she'll be so honored."

Happy and content, the new parents spent the rest of the day admiring the tiny miracle that was theirs.


	3. The Nightgown

**December 1914**

Nicholas opened the door to the bedroom very quietly, in case she was asleep. When he stepped into the bedroom, he saw Alexandra's head lying on the pillow, her eyes closed. She was snoring softly.

Nicholas stood for a long time just watching her chest gently rise and fall. In sleep her brow was smooth, all signs of the worry and pain that constantly plagued her waking hours gone. To Nicholas she looked much younger, more like the carefree girl he'd married years before.

His heart swelled with love for her as he quietly undressed and got into bed beside her. As she was a light sleeper, the slight pressure of the mattress sinking with his weight caused her to stir.

"Nicky?" she mumbled sleepily.

"I'm right here, my love," he whispered. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to awaken you."

"My Nicky." She sounded very happy as she clung to him. "You're back."

"I wanted to be here before you went to bed, but the train was delayed," he said apologetically.

"It doesn't matter. You're here now." He couldn't see her face but knew that she was smiling. "Oh, Nicky, I've missed you so much!"

"I missed you too, darling Sunny."

"Something strange happened. The night after you left for Stavka, I discovered that my favorite nightgown was missing."

"I have a confession to make." Nicholas sounded unquestionably guilty. "I hope you'll forgive me."

Alexandra's heart almost stopped as the missing nightgown was instantly forgotten. Her husband had been away at the Eastern Front for several months, and she knew that there were plenty of young, attractive women at Stavka to tempt lonely soldiers. She knew that Nicholas had never been unfaithful to her before, but she also knew that he was only human.

"What is it, Nicky?" She wasn't at all sure that she wanted to know.

"I took your nightgown to Stavka with me, Sunny." Nicholas sounded sheepish. "I just couldn't help it. It was so soft, like you are, and it had your scent. At night in bed I held it close to my heart and imagined that I was holding you instead, and it brought me great comfort."

Alexandra was softly sobbing. Gently he touched her face, wiped her tears away. "Please don't be angry, Sunny."

"Oh, Nicky, I love you so much!" she gasped. "I could never be angry at you for that!"

"I brought it back with me, Sunny. It's packed away with my most precious possessions. I'll get it for you right away, if you want."

"That's all right. It can wait until the morning." She held him as tightly as she could. As his arms tightened around her in response, she felt the softness of his pajama top, heard the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. _Oh, Nicky, I should have known better than to doubt you._

She felt that she'd never loved her husband more than she did right at that moment.


	4. Ballet

_A/N: This is only the way I wish it had happened, not the way it actually happened._

**1890**

Alexandra was sitting with her husband and his parents, watching a Tchaikovsky performance. The ballerina's name was Mathilde Kschessinska, and she was not only beautiful but a very good dancer as well. Alexandra remembered how Nicholas had praised her.

"I first saw her perform four years ago, when I was eighteen," Nicholas had told his wife. "I was very impressed and wanted very badly to meet her. I wasn't able to that time, but hopefully I will get the chance to today."

"You'd already met me two years before that, when I was twelve and you were sixteen," Alexandra had reminded him.

"But we were too young to get engaged then." Nicholas had laughed.

When Alexandra had seen how beautiful Mathilde was, she'd felt very unsettled. A part of her feared what might happen if Nicholas got his wish.

At last the performance was over, and the Imperial family was invited backstage to meet the ballerina.

Mathilde smiled radiantly as she shook hands with Tsar Alexander III and his wife. Then she came to Nicholas.

"Tsarevich Nicholas." Her dark eyes looked into Nicholas' blue ones as she clasped his hands. "I'm deeply honored."

"As am I," Nicholas stuttered. Alexandra had a sinking feeling in her stomach.

Next Mathilde turned to Alexandra. "Hello," she said dismissively, shaking Alexandra's hand indifferently.

"You're attracted to her, aren't you?" Alexandra asked Nicholas later, when they were alone.

"Of course I am," Nicholas said. "She's a very beautiful woman."

Alexandra swallowed a lump in her throat and looked at her feet.

"But not as beautiful as you," Nicholas quickly added. "You're the only woman I could ever love, Alexandra. I'm not like my grandfather. I'm strictly a one-woman man."

Relief flooded through Alexandra. "So even if she were to offer herself to you, you would refuse her?"

"Of course I would. I would never be unfaithful to you, Sunny."

"I love you, Nicky."

"I love you too."

They hugged and kissed, and everything was all right again.


	5. Japan

**1891**

"Want to see my new tattoo?" Nicholas asked his wife.

"Of course," said Alexandra.

Nicholas showed her the dragon tattoo on his arm, and she lightly traced her fingers over the intricate design.

"It's beautiful," she said. "How long did it take?"

"Seven hours." Nicholas grinned.

"I'll bet it hurt."

"It was very painful. But it was worth it."

On a different day, Nicholas and Alexandra were sightseeing when Alexandra suddenly heard her husband cry out in pain. She saw blood gushing from his head and realized that he'd just been attacked by a sword. The sword came up again, but this time a cane held by Nicholas' cousin blocked its path. The sword clattered to the ground, and the chase was on.

"Are you all right, Nicky?" Alexandra asked her husband. Nicholas was in too much pain to answer. Quickly he was rushed to the hospital, and Alexandra waited in suspense while they stitched him up, then took him to a room.

"He'll live," the physician told her. "But he's going to have one nasty scar."

Although Nicholas recovered quickly, the physician turned out to be right about that.


	6. Motherly Advice

_A/N: This chapter is quite AU. It supposes that Alexandra's mother Alice, who died when Alexandra was just six years old, lived to see her daughter become an adult, and the difference that would have made in Alexandra's life._

**1889**

"I love him, Mother," Alexandra told her mother, Alice. "I have since I was twelve years old. He's the only man I will ever love, yet I can't marry him, because I can't abandon the true faith."

Alice heard the deep anguish in her daughter's voice and felt very sad. "What shall you do with you life, then?"

"I suppose I shall dedicate it to serving God, yet I shall always love Nicky."

"He loves you very deeply as well, Alix. You can see it in his eyes. A love like that is hard to find."

"I know that, Mother, and that's why it hurts so much. Yet I can't displease God."

"Do you believe that God loves Nicky and his family as much as He loves us?"

"Of course He does!"

"So do you think that He would love you any less if you were to convert?"

"Well, no...I hadn't really thought of it that way before."

"I love you, Alix dear, and your happiness means more to me than anything else in the world. Nobody else could ever love you or be concerned about your welfare like me. If you turn that man away, and he finds someone else to love, you'll never again find a man who will love you as he does."

"But his family doesn't like me!"

_"He _loves you, and that's all that matters. You'll win the rest of his family over in time."

"They want him to marry the daughter of a King. With our family's lower status, they'll never accept me."

"When they get to know you and find out what a wonderful person you are on the inside, they'll grow to love you. I _know _they will."

"But there's still the issue of religion."

"God loves you too, darling, and He wants you to be happy. Perhaps this is His way of showing you that it's His will for you to convert to the Russian Orthodox faith."

"I never looked at it that way before, Mother. I'm glad you brought it up."

"It's almost time for us to return to Germany. If you're going to tell Nicky that you've had a change of heart and decided to accept his proposal, you'd better do it now."

"Oh, I will! I will! Thank you so much, Mother! I don't know what I'd do without you!"

"I'm so happy I was able to help, darling. I wish you and Nicholas all the happiness in the world."

Alexandra gave her mother a quick hug and kiss and went to find Nicholas.


	7. Comfort

**1904**

Nicholas entered the bedroom to find Alexandra sobbing, which was not exactly a surprise to him. They had both been devastated upon learning that their only son, Alexei, had been born with hemophilia. He went to her and put his arms around her.

"This is all my fault," she sobbed. "I'm the one who gave him hemophilia. It's in my blood."

"You gave him _life, _darling," said Nicholas. "You can't help it that he was born with hemophilia. Nobody blames you, least of all me."

"The people of Russia already hate me for my German blood," Alexandra continued. "They shall hate me even more when they learn that their future Tsar has inherited such a serious illness from me."

"And so they shall never learn of it," Nicholas said firmly.

"We can't keep it from them forever," Alexandra wailed. "Oh, Nicky, you never should have married me. You should have married a woman who could have given you strong, healthy sons."

"I never want to hear you say anything like that again," said Nicholas. "I've loved you since I was sixteen years old, and I could never love any other woman but you. You're the only one for me, Sunny. If it was God's will for our son to be born with this dreadful disease, then it's not our place to question it, and it certainly doesn't change the way I feel about you."

"I love you so much, Nicky." She clung to him, her blue eyes swimming with tears, as she gazed up into his, which were filled with sorrow and compassion. "Any other man would have cast me aside and married a woman from healthier stock."

"Well, I'm not any other man," said Nicholas. "There's nothing in the world that could ever make me cast you aside. I'll love you until the day I die, Sunny."

In the strength of his caring arms, she found the comfort she sought. As long as her Nicky was at her side, she knew that together, they could weather any storm.


	8. Abdication

**March 1917**

Nicholas' heart was heavy as he entered the Alexander Palace. The way of life he'd known for the past eleven years had just come to an end, and he faced an unknown future fraught with danger. Bereft of the stability that had sustained him for all of his nearly forty-nine years, he felt like a lamb amongst wolves.

"Sunny?" he called.

She'd heard his footsteps and rushed to meet him. Seeing the look of utter despondency in his eyes, she knew what he was going to say before he said it.

"It's over."

She didn't say anything but simply held him as he cried.

"So what happens next?" she asked when he'd finally regained his composure.

"Misha abdicated as well. The Provisional Government has taken over. For the first time in over three hundred years, our beloved country is without a strong leader."

"You did everything you could, Nicky," she told him. "They couldn't have asked for a better Tsar than you were. None of this was your fault, darling."

"I just can't help but feel that I've let my people down," said Nicholas. "What's to become of Russia now?"

"We must have faith that God's will shall be done," Alexandra replied. "If we put our trust in Him, He shall see us through."

Just to hear her voice, to feel her closeness, was all Nicholas needed. With the comfort of Alexandra's arms and the warmth of her love, he knew that everything was going to be fine.


End file.
